Post #9: Response to Sorcery, Superheroes, and…Sad Songs?
I haven’t been a fan of Marvel as long as Sydney, however I’ve recently started to delve into that universe. This past semester I watched all of the Marvel movies in release order and now, like Sydney, feel an emotional connection to the Marvel introduction song. Whenever I hear those opening notes, I get a rush of child-like glee and immediately am excited for what’s to come in the next two hours.
However, the Marvel introduction is not the only song I have a visceral reaction to. I hold many songs close to my heart, and associate them with certain time periods or events in my life. I catalog my music taste evolution in various Spotify playlists, usually a new one every month or so. I find myself listening to the same 20 or so songs on repeat that entire month, accidentally tying the emotions or events of that month to those melodies.
Whenever I hear the song “Perfect Playlist” by Ellie Williams, I am immediately taken back to the nerves and excitement of my first month of college. This song was on my playlist for August/September of 2020, when I moved to LA and started at USC. I would listen to this song while doing homework, going on drives to explore with my friends, and while walking to the village to get groceries or study. This song to me captures the gratefulness and happiness I experienced in these first few months, being in warm and sunny LA at my dream school. But it also brings back the nerves of being somewhere new and foreign, and the nerves of any first day of school. Because this song brings back so many of these emotions, listening to it is like a bittersweet memory of my first few weeks in LA and at USC, so I save it for special occasions when I want to remember how far I’ve come.
The song “Shawty” by Remi Wolf however only has positive emotions tied to it, as it was my favorite song all of summer 2020. In my small hometown, COVID was not bad at the time, so me and 4 of my best friends were able to hang out together in small groups. We would play this song full blast every time we went on boat rides in the river near us, everytime we had late nights swimming in my friend’s pool, and whenever we were tanning or hanging out at the beach. This song encapsulates the bliss that was summer 2020, after being locked inside all of spring. I was finally able to see a few of my friends, and pretend like life was normal for a few hours at a time. The joy this song brings to me is not only due to the upbeat tempo and fun lyrics, but the perfect memories associated with this time in my life.
But not all songs are happiness and rainbows, like the song “Dead to Me” by Kali Uchis, which got me through my first real break up through it’s empowering lyrics. While experiencing heartbreak for the first time, I listened to this song through tears for probably 3 days straight. I was devastated, but Kali Uchis made me feel like a bad bitch who didn’t need any man. Listening to this song doesn’t make me sad anymore, but reminds me of how sad I let someone else make me feel. I feel stupid looking back on how crushed I was over a high school relationship, and now I use that as motivation to truly just channel my inner Kali Uchis and be an empowered and confident person. So whenever this song comes on, I am immediately hit by a wave of independence and assurance in myself.
Being a very emotional person who turns to music for comfort ends up in having a lot of visceral reactions to many songs. These reactions remind me of good times, the bad times, and most importantly how far I have come from the Logan that used to listen a week ago, a month ago, or even a year ago.
